Can't Keep Hiding
by ruiiko
Summary: Raven is struggling with accepting her feelings for Beastboy. Despite the fact that the two are together, she finds it hard to commit herself to someone like that in such a manner. She can't keep avoiding these feelings forever, though. After a confrontation from Beastboy, Raven is able to accept these feelings and be left with a sense of happiness afterwards.


**So I kind of had this fanfic planned to be more dark, but that soon changed, so... enjoy some BBRae fluff! Also my first fanfic for this pairing. :D Enjoy!**

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><p>"Raven, Raven, Raven! Hey, Raven!"<p>

Raven's lips curled into a frown, as she squeezed her eyes tighter together. Perhaps if she just ignored his stupid, annoying voice, he'd leave her alone...

"Raaaaven?"

'_Just focus.' _She told herself, as she tried to dissapear further into her state of meditation, hoping she could be taken into oblivion. It was hard to do so, when fingers were being poked at her at every angle, or admittedly warm arms were wrapping around her torso, face burying itself into her cloak, squeezing her tightly.

"Baby!"

"Quit it, would you?!" Raven hissed, her eyes snapping open to see Beastboy laying in front of her, head in hands, a mischeivious grin on her face. Her pupils narrowed as he was now wrapping his arms around her again, pulling her in for a tight hug so her face was pressed against his chest. He was babbling on and on; about what, Raven wasn't too sure-for the moment her eyes were wide with shock and cheeks were dusted in blush. However, she wasn't going to let him distract her-she was in no mood for playing games. Firm hands pressed against his shoulder blades, pushing herself off of him. "Jees, what is with you today?" She demanded.

He just grinned up at her. "I should be asking you the same thing." His words weren't accusing, there was no malice behind them, only playfullness. And he kept up such a _stupid_ grin...

Raven shook her head, impulsively standing up to take a few steps away from him, crossing her arms, so she was out of his reach. "I was trying to meditate..." She mumbled under her breathe, sending him a glare. She turned away, then, squeezing her eyes shut again. Her head hurt. It was pounding, infact, and it just wasn't a good day in general. Raven was cranky, she was upset, and more than anything, she just wanted to be left alone. Why couldn't Beastboy realise that? Then again, he never seemed to understand the concept of personal space...

"Aww, c'mon, Rae." His voice was soft, though a hint of playfullness still lingered. Raven could feel his arms wrap around her waist again, his head resting on her shoulder. "What's wrong? You've been avoiding me alot, lately..." He was completely serious. Not a trace of playfullness in his voice, and in that moment Raven felt a slight tingle of guilt.

He was right. And she understood that now that they were _together_ she wouldn't have as much space-there were times when she would have to spend time with him, because wasn't that what boyfriends and girlfriends were supposed to do? "Nothing." She broke away from him again. Yes, she understood all of this. But it was still hard. Yes, she did love him, despite how annoying and un-funny he was, but she still found it quite hard to fully commit herself to someone in this manner. She was aware of how much he loved her-he never stopped telling her, but it was a rare case for her to show affection back towards him.

And she didn't understand why.

"You know I'm not buying that." This time he was standing infront of her, gripping her shoulders. She let out a gasp, since when was he that quick to be able to appear infront of her in a flash? Being caught off guard, she couldn't stop the blush that formed on her cheeks, and she was painfully aware of how much he noticed, of how much he was grinning. She averted her gaze again, but she could feel his face getting closer to hers, his breathe creeping along her cheekbone, until-

"Stop it!" Raven pulled away again, her face now completely bright red.

"Awww, Raerae is blushing!" Beastboy teased with a laugh, causing her to go even redder, if possible.

"You're not funny!" She hissed, as he pulled her close to him again. She didn't do anything to stop him, this time, because she knew the harder she resisted him, the harder he'd try to pinch one of her nerves.

And it was working.

Beastboy shrugged. "You may think I'm not, but I think this is pretty funny right now." He laughed.

"And what's so funny about this situation?... Humour me."

"Just that you're blushing so much~ You're really cute when you blush, you know!" Beastboy chimed, leaning forward slightly to kiss her on the cheek. She lowered her head, feeling the energy leave her body. She hated how he always seemed to win her over with his displays of affections... she used to be so much stronger than this.

"Now, spill. Something's been bothering me, and I know you don't like to talk about these kinds of things, but I really think you should, anyhow." He suggested, leading his girlfriend back over to her bed. They took a seat, and instinctively, Raven leaned her head on his shoulder. She felt weak. She needed support; and as much as she didn't want to admit it, she needed him. Her gaze travelled up to meet his expecting, yet ever so gentle eyes, and he gave a chaste nod. She glanced away, feeling ashamed for the way she treated him.

He was loving, and kind. He was patient with her, but he also knew all the right things to say and do to cheer her up. He was clingy, he was over-affectionate, but he had also been there for her through everything she had been through aside the team, supporting her in his own stupid, goofy ways.

She was none of those things. She was cold even still, she tried to act like she didn't care about when, when it was really quite the opposite. She ignored him. There were so many things she had done wrong, and it always came back to bite her hard, leaving marks of guilt scaring her. Raven didn't mean to-she loved him, but it was hard to show it. It was hard keeping a lid on her emotions enough already, as it is, but add love into the mix, it just toyed with those emotions even further.

And she couldn't stand it.

If she could be in more control of her emotions, if she didn't have to constantly meditate just to keep them at bay, then maybe things wouldn't have been so bad, and maybe then things between them would be so much better.

"Raven?" Beastboy's voice broke through her thoughts, and she looked up to him again. He was smiling. "What's on your mind?" He asked.

She exhaled a sigh. "It's just that..." She started, and stopped herself. She already felt vulnerable, already felt like she was making a fool of herself. She sighed in frustration, wanting to just dissapear. "There are times, when..." Raven started again, trying to pick the right words. "It's hard to really... be affectionate, and do all that... girlfriend, stuff." She finished off, her words growing smaller and smaller.

"Oh, that's all?" Raven's glance shot up to meet Beastboy's, shocked at his reaction. Her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

He laughed. "Raven, I know. And I don't care."

"You don't?"

Beastboy shook his head. "No. Sure, you might not be the most affectionate girl ever, and you have a hard time expressing yourself, and-" "You're ruining the moment here..." Raven growled.

Beastboy chuckled nervously, blush coming to his cheeks. "Ehehe... right... well... what I'm trying to say is that, you don't have to do any of the 'girlfriend stuff'. Just knowing that we're together is enough for me. We can take this relationship as slow, or as fast as you'd like, just as long as you're comfortable. And I hope I can do that for you."

Raven stared at him for a while, before breaking out into a small smile. "You're an idiot, you know that?..." Beastboy's mouth dropped slightly, a look of disbeilef coming across his face. She shook her head. "But you're my idiot... and I wouldn't have it any other way." The corners of her mouth dared to tug any higher into a sincere smile, all the while Beastboy was laughing and smiling, and he actually looked happy, and Raven felt happy, and for once things felt sort of okay because she knew that he was happy to be with her despite how difficult she was.

He really was an idiot for putting up with her all the time, but she was happy.

Despite how much it was hard to show it, she really was.

Truly.

She could feel his breathe along her skin, as he leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, but at the last second, Raven grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and with all the courage she could muster, pressed her lips against his instead, leaving Beastboy confused and flustered. "R-Raven?" He mumbled in confusion, his head spinning.

She laughed slightly. "Just... know that I love you."

Despite herself, she really did love him.

That was nothing but the truth.


End file.
